Are you in fact a real Christian? (Take this test to find out)

Here’s a short test for Christians (and anyone who wants to understand them). Just answer the following questions, in your mind, with a “yes” or a “no”.

1. Do you believe homosexuals should be killed? Not just “they’re going to hell”, but actually executed?

2. Do you believe women are inferior to men, should remain submissive, and can never be allowed to teach men or have authority over them?

3. Do you believe slavery is OK?

4. Do you believe disobedient children should be killed?

5. Do you believe that, when waging war, it is proper to commit genocide, killing every man, woman and child in the enemy nation — except for, in some particular cases, female virgins, who can be taken as “spoils”?

6. Do you believe that anyone who suggests to a Christian that he follow other gods should be killed?

7. Do you believe that an old grandmother, who lived a life of caring for others, bringing joy to dozens, will be condemned to an afterlife of eternal suffering if she didn’t accept Jesus as her savior?

8. Do you believe that there are cases in which a raped woman should be killed along with, or even instead of, the rapist?

If you answered “no” to even one of the above, you’re not a real Christian. You believe you know more than the God you say you worship. You’re guilty of picking and choosing from your divinely inspired holy book, ignoring more than half of it. You only follow the teachings you already agree with. In effect, you’re creating your own religion.

If you answered “yes” to even one of the above, then you are a repulsive, evil monster. Please never visit this blog again, and go play in traffic, or at least don’t reproduce.