Monday, March 5, 2007

I hate John Elway

Yea…. Football!!! There is nothing like having to wade through 50 drunken meatheads in order to get a nice tequila and an order of hot wings. They are all hi-fiving and rooting for their favorite team as they make the heroic march to the in-zone to seal the victory. They love to say things like “we won” even though I can clearly see that they have been in the bar through the whole game and never set foot onto the field. Football is so huge that they can’t even take a season off. They have created arena football so that there is something that resembles real football that you can follow in the off season. Then there are the sports interviews. These are always really entertaining. They go something like this. Q. “What were you thinking when you caught that winning touchdown pass?” A. “Well I was running down the field and the ball was coming at me, so I put my hands up, caught the ball, and then kept running!” Brilliant!

I live in Denver and John Elway is a Denver hero. Elway doesn’t play football anymore but he led the Denver Broncos to a couple of Superbowl victories. (I think, maybe someone can fill me in.) So as you drive around in Denver and the surrounding suburbs you see the Elway name all over the place. There is the Elway auto dealership, the Elway scrap yard, the Elway restaurant, the Elway dry cleaners and even the Elway high rise. (OK, I made that one up!) The funny thing is that if people see a John Elway business they feel safer purchasing a product from it because they think “Hey, John Elway is a good guy, he wouldn’t put his name on a dishonest business.” I don’t think that they understand that the real way this works is that the business calls John’s manager and ask if they can use his name. The manager says “Sure, for $1000 a month it’s all yours.” Walah… an Elway dealership.

This is the same type of mentality that occurs when dealing with a Christian business. People love to put that little fish symbol next to their ad in the phone book because they think that people will have positive associations. I am sure that there are people that look through the phone book for a service and will only call the businesses with the little fish. Of course it becomes profitable to have that little fish. In my experience the businesses that are openly Christian are actually the ones that are the best to avoid.

As I am in the process of moving I have been selling a lot of stuff. I had 4 showings in one day. Three from apparently normal people and one from an apparent Christian. She felt is necessary to tell me that they couldn’t come until the evening because they were leaders in a ministry. They also told me that they had been praying and felt that God had told them that the washer and dryer that we had for sale was meant for them. The next day all of the evil heathens that had made appointments to come see our stuff showed up to buy our stuff, the Christian couple did not show. They called about 30 minutes after they were scheduled to arrive. They explained to me that God had told them that they required further prayer before purchasing our washer and dryer and assured me that God was watching over me. I suppose it is best not to deal with Christians because you never know what God will tell them to do next.

It seems that almost everyday you can find God telling people to do crazy things. I was thinking today that maybe I shouldn’t read the news anymore. It only depresses me. Is it worth it to know what is going on in the world at the expense of always being depressed? For example…….

WILLIAMSBURG, Virginia (AP) -- A longtime donor to the College of William and Mary is withholding a $12 million pledge because of the decision to remove of a cross from a campus chapel, the school said.

The donor, who was not identified, changed his mind after school President Gene Nichol decided in October that the cross should be stored in a sacristy to make the chapel welcoming to students of all faiths, Nichol spokesman Mike Connolly said.

The loss of the funds "represents a serious setback to the college," Nichol wrote in an e-mailed statement Tuesday. "While I know it is intended to make a policy statement, ultimately it only hurts our students."

Advocates of keeping the cross in Wren Chapel pointed to the school's founding 300 years ago as an institution of the Anglican Church. The cross, they argued, should be displayed not only as a symbol of faith but as an acknowledgment of history and tradition.

Nichol's supporters say the school, which has been public since 1906, is obligated to make people of different faiths feel comfortable.

Here is an institution that is open to the public, trying to be sensitive to the fact that there are many different faiths and beliefs. As silly as most of them are, people have a right to them. The ultimate purpose of this institution is education though. Why are people so insistent in making their religious statements on public institutions? Why can’t the chapel cater to everyone equally? Is their belief system so inferior that it can’t exist in the presence of another belief system? Nichol responded to the loss of funds by saying that it was time for the school to move forward and that all religions and belief systems must be represented equally. Here is his entire statement. ( I have to say that I have the utmost respect for this man. For 12 million dollars I would probably get crosses tattooed all over my body. To me it makes no difference. It is just a symbol.

I am fascinated by the concept of wanting to display crosses in the first place. It seems a bit morbid. I mean the cross is the means by which people were put to death. The modern day equivalent would be like walking around with an electric chair or a lethal injection needle hanging around your neck on a necklace. Fine for Goth kids, but is it really appropriate for your marquee or your jewelry? People are always going to have varying beliefs and opinions, and that is fine. It just really gets under my skin when those beliefs and opinions slow or halt what could be a progressive society. We have so much opportunity in this country and we are wasting it on myths and fables. While I know that none of this is John Elway’s fault, it doesn’t make me like him anymore.


illana said...

I couldn't get passed "in-zone", I'm pretty sure it's "end-zone", and I hate football just as much as you do. This might be why the meatheads make fun of us:)

angelsdepart said...

I suppose that end-zone would make more sense. The other thing that is perplexing is that football is such a "man's sport" but the players are always slapping each other on the ass. I just don't get it!

Aaron Kinney said...

All real men love a little man-to-man assplay.

If you dont, then youre gay ;)

Intergalactic Hussy said...

I love it when men see the truth about football!

And don't forget the big orgy pile-up. It'd be hot if only there were any good-looking men in football. :P

Oh and.. No other point of view (other than religion) is valid with only one source, so why are they so special..oh yeah... lol

Shawn Wilkinson said...

Denver, Colorado? No wonder you're sick of Christians; you live in the capital of evangelical Christiandom. Doesn't Colorado have the most megachurches per square mile than any other state?

Anyways, if I recall, the cross is meant to symbolize Jesus' sacrifice to humanity. Morbid, I agree, but it's meant to remind Christians of what Jesus "did" for them. Personally, I like the buddha statues the most out of any religion.

Of course, Jesus was probably crucified on an X-shaped cross as (1) those were more common in the region and (2) very early Christians represnted the cross as an "X". Romans applied their own cross when erecting the Catholic Church.

The history of symbols is fascinating. I think that's the only good thing I got out of Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code.

tina said...

I loved the "walking around with the electric chair or a lethal injection needle hanging around your neck". I love your humor.

Cat17 said...

Actually, the "X" is the interpretation for "Christ" or "Cristus". Not the form of death He endured. Crucifixions in the first century were performed on trees with a cross beam for the arms. He was upright with His arms on the cross beam and His feet nailed to the actual tree. The cross beam was mounted to the tree higher up but in a manner so that He could not raise up to get His breath and His joints dislocated causing the "excruciating" pain. A word which is a derivative of "crucifixion" by the way.