Wednesday, August 22, 2007

The one and only

I have accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Savior. All of you atheist bloggers need to convert or you will go to hell. I saw the truth in a vision. Jesus revealed himself to me. I now believe in miracles, virgin births and global flooding. When I die I will go to heaven to live in paradise and scoff at all you idiot unbelievers. You cannot criticize me because my beliefs must be respected. Any proofs you offer as a counterpoint will be discounted and immediately considered wrong! I will start going to church and will dedicate large portions of my paycheck to ministries that the pastor deems appropriate. I will be a mindless slave and cease to think for myself. All doubters are ignorant. Your comments are welcome!


Larro said...

You were asking about the guy that got booted from the Atheist Blogroll.

The post is

I really didn't know what to think of this predicament. I actually thought the guy was pretty liberal, I even went to his Wordpress blog:

But it was obvious he wasn't an atheist, hence getting booted from the blogroll. Mojoey has since modified the rules for joining by excluding "freethinking" blogs (I think, I don't remember the exact requirements from before).

BTW, I like that: "I will be a mindless slave and cease to think for myself."


tina said...

Have you been to Atheist Hussy's blog? There's a good video she posted. "Zeitgeist" It's 2 hours long though.

Tommy said...

For a moment I was like "April Fools Day isn't for another 7 and a half months!

breakerslion said...

I tried accepting Jesus Christ as my personal savior once. I even went so far as preheating the oven to 400 degrees. Oh wait, that was for a personal pizza. I mean, I showed the guy two forms of ID... no, that was for a personal checking account. I showered and rinsed thoroughly, and dried between my toes? No, that's personal hygiene. What's a personal savior again? Is that like a condom? Will it fold up and fit in a pocket? Can it get you out of a speeding ticket on the Interstate at 2AM? Does it fly in through the window singing, "Here I come to save the day!" in a fruity barritone, like Mighty Mouse? Will it save you from unsavior-y characters like me? I've never seen one. Details! Details!

angelsdepart said...

Imagine having a mindless Superman on quickdial. It's kind of like that.