Every morning when I wake up I am amazed. I am amazed that I have once again woke up! I almost can’t believe it. Every night when I feel tired, I assume that it is the end, that the day I just lived through was my last. Then I wake up and I am shocked all over again! How did this happen?
I had an experience about 18 months ago that I should not have lived through. I did live through it though. I progressed and I got better. When the perpetrator of this violent crime was sentenced, the judge gave him a verbal lashing about the horrible thing that he had done. One of the things that the judge said was that this criminal may have shortened my life expectancy. Initially I just thought that this was something that the judge was saying to express the seriousness of the crime. I had never even thought that this might actually be true!
You read crazy stories everyday though. A man that smokes a pack of cigarettes a day lives to be 92 years old, while a 17 year old healthy student just suddenly drops dead while jogging. You could die while riding in a plane or while simply visiting the zoo. I think that it is not unreasonable to think that my injuries could have left me with some sort of ticking time bomb in my head or heart that could go off at anytime.
I am in a lot of pain and I generally ignore it. But pain is that body’s way of telling you that things are wrong. Ignoring it doesn’t make things not wrong. They are still there…….. lurking……..waiting!
So I try to live each day as if though it was my last, but knowing that it may very well not be this becomes quite a feat. You have to work, pay bills, take care of responsibilities……. maybe a car breaks down, or a friend needs a favor, or an ear to talk to. You can’t just up and do what you want because while you may die tomorrow, you may very well live another 60 years. Then what? If you are stupid now, then you will be fucked then!
The ultimate message here is that there has to be a balance. The reason that this balance is hard to find is that it is dynamic. It is different from day to day. It is with this knowledge that you can start to understand how the mass institutionalization of our societal structure, being static, works against a healthy lifestyle, on a mental, emotional and physical level.
Live for today, but live for tomorrow too. Remember that there is not much on this earth that matters. When it comes down to it, all we have is each other. Treat people good, make healthy decisions, be kind, and be compassionate. Don’t take shit from anyone though. If someone is unhealthy for you and beyond your scope of ability to help, cut them out of your life. You only get one go at this so your lessons have to be learned quickly. Please remember to give yourself credit when you do something great. I assure you that Jesus had nothing to do with it!